Random Rants

It's has been such a long time I've updated my blog. I've decided to abandon my other blog. Anyway, it has been 2 months I've comissioned and also, in my new unit. The lucky thing is, I'm in the new unit with Sengkiak, but the unfortunate is that, Dengsi is also in this unit. Apparently, dengsi and I aren't in good terms. I've had enough of his nonsense since OCS, and unluckily, we got into the same unit.

My stay in this unit hasn't been pleasant so far. I've tried to adapt to it since I entered that place. I went there with an open mind and accepted what I had to do. However, I couldn't accept it in the end as the job itself is underestimating each of our abilities. Of the 7 of us, one of us had to take up the role of Manpower Officer, who settles almost everything under the sun. It took quite some time to decide who to take up this role, so I volunteered for it. Before I took up this role, I was told, everyday, I'm with all smiles wherever and everywhere I go. Come to think of it, I found it quite true. It seems that my days ahead had dimmed. I noted some differences to my life as well. I actually think that I'm no longer as close as Sengkiak anymore. It seems to me that I feel that my other colleagues (of the same rank) are unhappy with me. Because of this position I've taken up, I had more power than them; everytime, I had to allocate them to their respective places. It seems like they are under my control, and I seriously don't like that.

I've been thinking, it's not possible to make everyone happy. There are always people who are unhappy with you. I think, I've been trying to please everyone. I hate this habit of mine, I hated myself for being indecisive sometimes, I also hated myself for making wrong decisions at times. I want to be an officer who knows what he's doing, who knows what's best for his man, who knows what to do in times of need, who knows how to deal with people, who knows .....almost everything.

I seriously want to talk to someone about it. However, sometimes, the one I turn to doesn't usually provide the listening ear that I seek. I wished for that listening ear sometimes, I wished for someone who knows me well to help me out.

There's an interesting verse I learnt today from the papers.

"Look down the ladder for the solution, and look up the ladder for the cause."

This sentence alone made me think quite alot today. Looking down the ladder for the solution, what I thought this would be is to be in the person's shoes and look at the situation in his perspective. Interact with those around him or involved with the problem directly rather than looking up at those who aren't involved to solve it for you?

I don't quite get it.

But in anyways, my life so far hasn't been great. I should and I must try to take my life less seriously, enjoy whatever I'm doing.

Hopefully, life ahead in my unit will be a pleasant one.

eNd